Devil In My Bones

I'm on a bad trip from the salty water rushing from my eyes.
While you drink to your wife and stare and the woman who's curves fill the space that I once lived in,
I lay in my bed at night, with eyes closed reminiscing of the heaven that was once your arms.
Where the gods smiled down and everything was beautiful.

Now, with every move your knife twists around deeper into my stomach.
They told me death was nothing to fear, yet now that I no longer live,
I realize death was something to be feared.
We were angels once, but you broke my wings.

The novacaine doesn't numb me.
The alcohol doesn't help erase your memory.
Am I in love?
No.
Was it the thing you said?
No. For it was what you didn't say.
It murdered my heart, and pureed my soul.
I hope your weighted heart flies across the earth as Zeus flings you from his hand.
Oh karma's a bitch?
So am I.

Never Mind, Here Lies Deja Vu

The reason why you don’t believe in angels is because you’ve never looked into the mirror.

The reason why you’ve never seen God before is because you’ve never felt your soul.

The reason why you’ve felt the devil’s claws in your back was because your body was eaten alive by the earth.

The reason why the demons live in your eyes is because you thrive on their inspiration.

Never before could I say,

I’ve met an angel.

I’ve seen God.

For the inadequate expressions on my face say otherwise.

But now I know it to be true.

My skin flutters in the wind where the demons rent my flesh.

I know those demons,

For they lead my soul down this path.

Your beautiful wings spread open before me,

Your eyes sparkled like the rubies that the gods set in stone before your time.

Each of your fingers are tiny diamonds that fall on my chest.

Your heart is the furnace that warms my shivering limbs.

Do you captivate all humanity this way?

Or did Mother Earth pull you out of your ashes just to bring to me this joy?

My mouth can never speak the thoughts my heart feels the need to say.

Your spell encompasses me

As rainbow fairies dance around me.

All I hear is your breath as the rushing of wind.

Here I found my ablution,

Under your beating heart lies my peaceful requiem.

Perception

Do you know the anguish of my soul?

Do you hear my heart cry in the midnight hour?

Take a razor to my scalp,

Remove the bone,

And pick through the crevices.

As it crumbles around you like a forgotten city

And encases you,

You will feel the warm electricity as it pulsates through your body.

Only then will your mind tell the tale of a foreboding, sleepless journey.

Icicles will drip from the caverns of your bloody heart.

When the numbness rushes over the palms of your hands,

Will you still stop this paper from becoming sodden with my guilt ridden soul?

Once your hands have become one with mine,

And you see the rage in my mind.

Your tears will become as stone,

Never again flowing down this dry river bed

Next time you speak,

Pray, tell me, have you felt this old soul’s heartache?

Alice's Not-So-Wonderful-Land

I wonder what life would be like

Without the birds madly chirping in my ear,

Without all the confusion.

Telling me how to think

Without the wind telling me how to breathe.

The roses are telling me to love a certain way,

But this is not my way.

These branches are bending my limbs and pointing me down a certain road.

This is the road of survival, yet not the road of fulfillment.

This is the road that always lacks

But is never uncertain.

The little bugs are eating up my flesh.

The bugs that remind me my eternity isn’t forevermore.

I wish these things would disappear.

My life wants to live. Yet

To survive it must die.

Where is the sunshine of hope for the future?

It has been lost in the sea of forgetfulness

And swallowed by my cave of darkness.

We find ways to survive, but never to truly live.

Let me be.

Let me remember the dreams of young

When anything was a possibility.

Let me live my life.

Not by the principle of society

But by my law written in the sands of carelessness.

My rose shall be plucked away.

Let me not love forever

But choose serendipity.

Let me not begrudgingly hike down the path of survival,

But to swim in the clear blue waters of my freedom.

Where I need not care if the rats encase me or if my rags end up tattered.

Let me be free.

Let me not hear a soul.

For I am all the soul I need.

Yet life laughs menacingly in my face.

For this is but a faint hope that fades with every breath I breathe.

These smiles will never be completely finished.

I have given my all to achieve a cold, dark place at the end of the street.

The midnight hour comes as I trudge down,

Money in one hand, man in the other.

The road of life has led me to another.

And it all.

Comes down.

To, soil?